It is, however, delicious.

Only if the governor changed her name to Christine.

Carrillo also made it a point to note that alcohol was being served at the event, although he stopped short of directly saying Sheka was drunk.

Via the LA Times, a guy named Dylan Grosz with a disturbingly scientific mind and way too much time on his hands ordered 35 Chipotle burritos over the course of several days and then weighed each one back at his office.

I’m still waiting for him.

Dare not get close lest ye be burnt by mine brilliance.

Sorry, I believe marriage should only be between bottles of ketchup. All other forms of marriage are an abomination unto Grodd. Don’t get me started on catsup rights.

Now see, this is much more subtle. I like it.

So, who wants lunch? My treat.

When I hand it to her, I tell her, “No charge for the extra blood!” She doesn’t even blink, snatches the package and leaves.

That car must’ve smelled just great.

I don’t even notice the fucks any more. They’re just kinda punctuation to me now. You’ve desensitized me to foul language you beautiful bastard.

It’s a risk I’m willing to take. For science!

So my liberal use of their Fire Sauce during my daily trip to Taco Bell will make me immortal?

I’d be far more surprised if the title of this articles was “Police Raid Taco Bell and Find No Drugs of Any Kind.” Also, one of the dudes’ last name is Duby. C’mon! Too easy Cedar Rapids Police. Catch Brian Sober with some meth and I’ll be impressed.

Maybe these corporations could use all the money they spending lobbying* politicians and use it to pay their employees like human beings. Or we could keep sliding into a cyberpunk megacorp dystopia. No matter how cool living in a William Gibson novel sounds, we should probably choose human decency.

Thus far only Earl Grey, hot.

Time for my impossibly healthy drink to hit the market! It’s tea mixed with pork fat and hydrogenated peanut oil. Might call it Armor-Piercing Tea. It’s very good for you, just like the Earth was flat for all those years until some genius started people disbelieving.

I get violently ill when I eat scallops, which are pretty tasty. And apparently snuck into a variety of seafood dishes. Dear science, this is JurassicBark, are you listening?

I am what I like to call ‘gluten-tolerant’ so this doesn’t really affect me much, but it’s good to know that more people could someday bask in the glory that is pasta.