Ok, so maybe I'm an idiot but I cannot find how to read these DMs? Halp?

There are just some people that don't deserve forgiveness. I think that's why child molesters in prison get it rougher than bank robbers and murders — I mean, even the CRIMINALS don't forgive that. I mean... I mean.

The only reason he wasn't a registered sex offender was because he was a minor (but just barely) when this all took place.

Oh, neat! So did my cousin! Brad never actually went, but it would have been the one in Greenville for the Arts. Brad moved away shortly after all this came to light because I told everyone (and I have no regrets doing so — he was an incestuous child molester, after all).

NAILED IT SEC

In my book, booze is ALWAYS a welcome gift. Hell, one of the best gifts I was ever given was from my cousin: a mini-bottle each scotch, gin, vodka, bourbon, straight whiskey and spiced rum and three joints filled with KB. FAVORITE COUSIN.

You forgot (generic) coffee mugs which say: I assume you drink...beverages.

When I was in the 11th grade, I befriended a guy named Brad who was a transfer student from another high school. We met through coinciding theatre projects. He was gay and had problems fitting in to our conservative campus so I took him under my wing, so to speak. He lived alone in a small apartment behind a Waffle…

WORD.

I'm inclined to agree with you. 98% of my family is totally fucking obnoxious so I just avoid them altogether and chit chat with the ones I like. Merry Christmas!

Why you so damn hateful? I'm worried about you.

Ol' Man Professional Chair Tester, that Ol' Man Chair Tester

Lady Gaga has really upped her game from ArtPop!

To blow up her Twitter feed, of course. It's obviously her favorite way to directly convey her opinions on subjects she should have Wiki'd a long fucking time ago.

I don't know if that's so much of an "unpopular opinion" as much as it is a boring opinion. No tea, no shade.

I was surprised to see that Hulu Plus still offers 7th Heaven AND The Cosby Show to stream online.

You are SO RIGHT ON with the solo travel. I took myself to NYC last week long enough to watch Emma Stone in Cabaret, get plastered drunk with an old college friend + her new friends, eat at Murray's Cheese Bar, stay in a hipster hotel on 25th that cost $80 a night (The Carlton Arms - they have hotel cats that will…

It's true. "Very Southern" moms are rarely registered Democrats. I thought for SURE she was gunna say GOP.

SantaCon.

It's not an immediate classic by any means, but I have to give those girls props. They're 13 and don't have access to Beyoncé's song writers. It is what it is.