How can you hear his SAT score through a computer screen?

Well, the report says she's 33, so under the circumstances, I'd say picture a fairly haggard looking woman of about 55.

I was in killer shape in high school because I ran cross country and track. Every night before a meet, we'd have a Carb Up and load up on pasta, bread, etc. Certainly didn't make us fat.

If only there were some place on the Internet you could easily type questions into to find articles that explain things. Maybe someday.

"Monkey."

All these "talking to the media is part of the deal, it's why he gets paid" pundits baffle me. As far as I'm concerned his job is playing football, preferably in a visually entertaining fashion. I could not possibly give less of a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut whether or not he talks to the press. I suspect the…

Now we know the plot for what will be the worst remake of Citizen Kane ever made.

After "oh yeah," the undercover officer gave the signal for the arrest team to move in and arrest Anthony.

I feel like it should be a red flag if a prostitute uses the term "intercourse."

Kind of weird to hear of such a small child with that keen an interest in taxidermy.

Naturally he chooses the one stuffed animal that's under-stuffed.

Belichick: I like a little puppet. You can kinda put your fingers in, it's a little monkey and then he can talk.

He's been playing so long that Puddy was wearing his jersey in that playoff hockey tickets episode of Seinfeld. Let that sink in for a moment.

This girl seems like a pretty unbelievable catch.

I disagree. They appear to be good at getting caught.

"Okay, first, you're going to need a bigger hat"

"Kei Nishikori" is Japanese for "Bill Brasky".

Brandon Bostick only wishes he'd thought of blocking someone, too.

"If the Patriots can tamper with their balls then why can't I tamper with mine?" - Marshawn Lynch