This whole storyline has been a surprisingly powerful way to raise awareness of Omaha. Will be interesting to see if other cities in Oklahoma look for some free shout-outs.

His first thought? "It was a feeling of 'Get back on defense.'"

Most of the claims relate to loss of consortium, as the resulting injury has kept him from screwing his patients.

The enforced secrecy is due to the fact that the UTEP players won't be charged as adults.

Wow, the comments section on this website is so dense you can literally see the house bending towards it.

"I don't usually say this, but you, you, I dig."

The Bears were just secretly hoping that giving Cutler such a sweet, sweet deal would kill him.

"My son, my precious child, when you still see two sets of footprints in the Wisconsin snow, that's because you're so fat I couldn't carry you."

The Packers—the Packers!—still have 7,500 seats remaining

Even though Philly sold all their tickets, three of four Eagles fans will definitely be blacked out.

What's really amazing is he caught it even though everything spins in the opposite direction down there.

This guy wishes he had missed a day of work for this.

They used a "K" so the kid wouldn't accidentally end up at Harvard.

PR/security resolved this with many strips of Scotch tape

Dallas is Esmeralda to the playoff's Quasimodo - just can't get over the hump.

In an effort to protect the true identities of those involved, a porn director was brought in to provide new names for this story.