I think it's part of my charm. Not everyone thinks so unfortunately.

I keep my account because I keep in touch with my extra large family that way. And my friends post stuff about shows & parties. I rarely update my status anymore, just look at and comment on stuff my friends post.

Baby elephants are proof that the universe loves us and wants us to be happy.

I worked in food service for three long, awful months in my mid-teens, and I would happily cabbage patch into traffic with a sparkler hanging out of my ass if that were the only other option outside of serving other human beings a meal for money.

Chris Brown and Drake should date

Mom Juice. (That's what my toddler calls my wine.)

Cosby is a serial rapist who got away with it for 50+ years because of the notion that certain types of guys aren't rapist, and certain types of women aren't real victims. This is what rape culture reaps.

i think this should be included... i want one so badly!!

When you put it like that, she should get probation volunteering in a middle school. There is no worse age.

Sweetie, you win. That is awful, I hope you are stocked up so the drinking doesn't stop. The pot pies alone are an abomination. Glad you are safe, the news looks crazy!, but of course that is very relative here...

This year is the very worst. I have been run out of Ferguson because my house is right next to the fires. I am crashing on an air mattress three hours away with my two dogs at my mother's house, a woman I try to limit my encounters with to twice a year at best for various reasons. Some highlights from yours truly, the…

I freely admit to admiring Mathers' talent despite my better judgment otherwise. I dislike his lyrics in most cases, and as I get older I have way less patience for his lack of emotional growth as an artist. It's a pity, too, because he's clearly insanely talented. But his schtick is, frankly, old. The Marshall…

Last winter was pretty harsh in Illinois. I made this:

Hi! I'd love to talk to you more about why Second Life became known as the Adultery Capital of the World. Mind sending me an email? Patricia@kotaku.com

Agreed. Non-violent offenders sentenced to short terms typically don't benefit from prison, and that goes for male offenders as well.

Seriously the way they talk ... reminded me of conversations I've overheard in middle school. I'm sure it would be epic bro's. I'm sure you guys would kick so much ass that you'll both get a movie deal and be immortalized as the most badassed badasses that have ever had asses.