*enhance's

Been holding in my rage all day while I try to move all my stuff across state lines by myself in one car. Moving is an effective tactic at taking out your rage by channeling it into carrying boxes down 5 flights and packing your sedan like a BOSS.

I hate them all so much.

Big surprise. HUGE.

Jezebel Basic

I knew it! Damn I'm good at spotting porn sets/costumes. Especially from the 90's! This would make more sense if I was really into porn, but it's just kinda like soap operas and has a look you can always spot.

Here's the other reason I did a Foods That Should Not Exist: since this is the column that landed me this job, and a trip out of the nightmare that is the food industry, I thought it only fitting that my last full feature as a Recruit (other than next Monday's BCO) be a probably-overdue edition of Foods That Should…

*epic African savannah backdrop*

Consider your curiosity satiated, because it sounds like angry Christians yelling while soft rock plays in the background.

I agree. That's postmodern as fuck, brilliant commentary. That sounds sarcastic, but I'm totally serious. That shit belongs in a museum.

A Vietnam war themed restaurant where you have to eat your food quietly in the jungle as you wait to see who might be around you. It's called Friend or Pho

There with ya. I've found that the only way I can bring the conversation around is to acknowledge that mental illness played a part. Because it did. Of course.

This makes me physically sick.

Dear #NotAllMen,

That's nonsense. You can be expelled from college for plagiarism and cheating on exams, and there's obviously no official investigation involved in that.

She's told it a few times! It's great.

I mean, obviously. I still have flashbacks to that one time someone dropped a hard shell in my high school cafeteria. Johnny threw himself on it and absorbed all of the deadly corn shrapnel. I'll never forget his bravery.

OMG. That's a very appropriate song to sing while pooping. I think I may use that now if someone asks what I'm doing. "I'm off to build a snowman".

"B-List" is very generous.