I know that in January 2017, I am going to experience four very real stages of grief no matter who is elected. Denial, bargaining, anger and depression. I cannot imagine making it to acceptance.

Did he say “badass” while his daughter is being “red solo cup-ped” in her college apps? I love him. I love the Obamas. I love everything about this (except for Hope Solo, to be clear). “I’ve inspired millions of boys to look at girls differently” is awesome. But there is so much more work to be done. HERMIONE GRANGER…

A man with daughters doing it right who also happens to be The IDGAF President.

How I sabotage every relationship;

“That’s just not enough to live on for decades after retirement.”

Over-worked, under paid, under appreciated and surrounded by shitty kids? Yes give that person a firearm.

He could get a job on Fox and give half the audience rage-induced strokes.

Cooties?

Bunnies are shitting everywhere?

Me right now

Admittedly it’s been a while since I last saw Deliverance, but (as someone who was born in Kentucky) I feel like this is a pretty hateful comparison to make. What did hill country rapists ever do to you that deserved being compared to Mike Huckabee?

I think we’re all a little concerned. Fence around Kentucky needed?

There is only one acceptable non-Rocky use for this song...

Yeah. Our house looked nice too. And it looked like that until it didn’t. And then my father died, but only after destroying himself and everything and everyone around him until no one, nothing was left - not even a vestige of his former brilliant self. He thought the same way you do. He had it under control.

Fucked up is deciding to try heroin.

I had a couple friends in high school that developed drug addictions. My best friend was addicted to meth for two years. From my understanding, the fact that you don’t get horribly addicted the first time you do it is what gets you. Addiction develops over a matter of months. People do it the first time and think it’s…