The illest.

He looks like someone who would know quite a bit about “propane and propane accessories” so I wasn’t worried.

Was not expecting that to end without horrible injury. This is what the internet has done to my brain.

I haven’t been to a boring, bad, or unpleasant wedding since my half-sister’s very large and tacky one in the mid-90's, when I was like 13. Every wedding I’ve been to as an adult has been a fun and touching celebration of people I either adore (my friends’ weddings) or just met but am willing to gamble on being…

+1

My first thought was Fugazi too, but yeah, the male female ration is fucked. Also, they are old and out of date. The few women who do like them are at the end of, or beyond, child bearing age.

Subtle. And good.

obligatory

Drums and flats. Worked at a bar in college, we’d charge an extra dollar if you requested all of one kind.

Wings.

Fuck wood, use propane like your HOA likely requires you to.

As a former resident of both Chicago and New York: I concur. New York Bendy Triangle Pizza and Chicago Deep Dish Pizza are two separate foods. People who try to pit them against each other are being dumb. Just eat it, enjoy it, and shut the fuck up.

Shots fired.

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL? Are you ready for a PARTY?

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL? Are you ready for a PARTY?

Hanks, ranked:

Leprechauns would have some bomb green and gold palettes and glittery make up.

This is why all Salary information for everyone should be publicly posted. I was getting screwed at my job so I basically refused to work overtime until they rectified my pay. Luckily I am pretty dam good at my job so it got taken care of pretty quickly.

That’s pretty classic: Rigorous application of the rules for black person (theoretically justified by existing rules, not racism); exceptions to rules made for white person because: reasons.

He went to another company for a 30% wage increase. It’s not the answer you want, but it was easier to just gtfo than fight.