daaaaaaaang

TAYception.

Some people are just lazy searchers.

Funny, I usually go to Netflix because I can't find Friends.

#TriggerWarning

?!?!

According to my cousin, yes, if "Obamacare has its way." (?????????????????)

Oh honey I'm so, so sorry you had to find out this way.

Utah's state motto has been "Grab your dick and double click!" since, oh, 1995.

A new study has found that when you get zebra finches totally wasted, they become noticeably worse at singing. They probably think they sound awesome, though. Then they probably want to fly somewhere to get little bird-sized burritos before crying into a bird-sized phone to some ex-birdfriend, before spending the rest…

Eh, definitely would regift him myself.

Calling it: Style'n Wiig.

Well what's the point of maintaining 4 separate social media accounts if I can't use them to constantly bombard everyone I know with how special I am? You want me to be good just for the sake of it? With no selfies or hashtags even?

An oddly relevant tweet from Josh Groban.

"Why doesn't a bike stand up on its own?" she asks.

Heh. I assigned 'middle' to mean "Middle-Earth" like you were cramming in references all over the place. But "fleeting middle Animorph stage" also works.

he specifically resembles the fleeting middle Animorph stage! Don't worry, I'm not trying to "other" the Animorphs, one of my oldest passions in life

I don't believe that Chicago exists. I have never been there; no one I know has ever been there (except for my friend Jackie who changed planes at O'Hare, but she said it was real snowy so it could have been a different airport covered in white paint); "Chicago" is a funny word and "City of Broad Shoulders" rings real…

Young here.

I couldn't watch the video. I couldn't do it.