She looks like an ad for traction alopecia that is treated with massive doses of caffeine.

(1) They had enough folks there to dog-pile him and whip his ass. I wish they had.

Wish her co-workers hadn’t pulled her back so soon. She might have beat some sense into that fool.

I may never get out of the grey, but you are a treasure, Michael. I love reading everything you write.

Next up: Water still wet and sky still blue!

Even the Jojo Siwa Styling Head at WalMart has a better hairline than the real Jojo:

I know I am an “old”, but I don’t remember any of us being that “on” when we were her age. She is revved up like she is being fed a steady diet of coffee spiked with methamphetamine and topped with cocaine. It is exhausting to watch her for 30 seconds! Don’t get me started on that traction alopecia... OW!!

Dem teef!

That hair is so tight she looks like she has had a bad facelift, pulling her eyes up unnaturally.

That hair is so tight she looks like she has had a bad facelift, pulling her eyes up unnaturally.

Yep, pretty sure a 2-way valve is just a pipe.

Sorry, but South Carolina residents are sandlappers.

Duke has a football team? I kid, I kid. When I was in graduate school at Duke in the 80s, you had to buy season football tickets (as a student!) just to get on the list to buy basketball tickets. Some folks just bought them to get on the list for B-ball and never went to the actual games.

My sister is convinced that her 25 year old daughter still believes Santa is real and begs us not to spoil it for her. 

Love you Michael, but I am certain that, despite the scary, radioactive-sounding name, the thallium almost assuredly was not radioactive. 

My son was a schoolmate of Zion’s. Zion was a great kid and I used to push him to attend my alma mater (Duke) at every chance. Glad to see him there.

Some folks really figured out how to make dominos super-exciting. I mean, were the patients with dominoes in their penis and vagina a couple?

Susan Smith Syndrome

“Thankfully Target employees descended on the scene and were able to diffuse the situation.”

I laughed so hard, I almost couldn’t click the star for you.