*Grabs popcorn to watch owners implode*

you can be whatever you choo choo choose to be.

The story’s author takes us into the living room of Johnstown resident Pam Schilling, a 60-year-old retiree who is already keyed up to vote for Trump in 2020:

Being baffled by nonsense is not the same as vilifying.

Those gifs line up nicely to the refrain of “Brock Lobster”:

A little off topic, but when I saw the name “A.J. Green” connected to a story about fighting, I was imagining him to be the lovechild of AJ Pierzynski and Draymond Green, and was secretly hoping that he’d kicked a dude in the balls and then was immediately punched in the face.

And with that, Jalen Ramsey became the first player to actively try to get into the Bengals locker room.

He must have double vision something fierce. Everyone knows you eat at the Y.

Jimmy Haslam: *continues typing on a calculator thinking he’s sending a text*

Tom Benson: new phone who dat?

I’m sure Bob McNair is encouraging his coaching staff to look at Kaepernick as a replacement...

The indictment includes three criminal counts against Manafort and Gates that cover activities through 2017 and another count that includes activities through 2016.

Da, comrade.

That is like saying the less reeking turd is the best turd in the punch bowl. No one is even remotely impressed by Indiana’s top Med school (guessing #1 is U of Phoenix?) letalone their 2nd.

Co-Anchor: Oh wow! Haha seems like Natalie’s having a hard time with that chip! Hahahaha. Hang in there Natalie!

Best Denver-area food challenge performance by a journalist since Maureen Dowd.

Yeah, but to be fair he was 1950s fat, not 2017 fat.

I was going to say this one

I haven’t seen a Carson perform this kind of magic since Carnac the Magnificent!

That explains all their all-hobbit WR corps perfectly.