I don’t know if the Jaguars can keep this up, but I do hope you get your Satchmo sauce someday.

THIS AARON RODGERS, HE DOES IT IN DALLAS SO MUCH, I CALL HIM DEBBIE.

I’m just here for the anguished wails of Cowboy fans and Drew

The Harvey Weinstein scandal has clearly got Ben hearing footsteps.

It was the 609 back in my day!

Sure there are. They’re just thought of in the visitors’ lockerroom.

He practices that maneuver at home with surplus swaddled infants.

He looks like a stale, old marshmallow that just found out a lesbian couple bought the house next door.

should have been exhibit A in the horse people v boat people debate

Also he fucks horses.

Mike Pence looks like a stick of deodorant someone taught to wince.

I mean, McNabb didn’t get drafted because he was black, and he did deserve to be a starter in the NFL, but he was also very much overrated. But it was because he was on a good team. Like how Troy Aikman was overrated.

At the most elemental level, this was wrong; McNabb played poorly over the first two weeks of 2003, but turned it around sufficiently to lead the Eagles to 12 wins and the NFC Championship game.

I’m not talking about people who use female AND male with the same frequency. But people who use “female” to address women and “men/man” to address men.

So... that blurb alone could also be interpreted as “Hey, our preparation and response to Katrina was so bad that thousands of people died. I mean, 3/5 of thousands, but still probably thousands. Good job Puerto Rico, you actually seem to care about people before, during, and wow, even AFTER a catastrophe!”

I will use only the finest butters and oils.

Just came here to say fuck the home run record. The hits record is where it’s at. Long live Ichiro.

hey, you can’t always get what you want

If you get between me and my enchiladas, I will cut you with a hacksaw.

As a doctor, one of the benefits is having whatever pharmaceutical rep who wants to sell their product, bring lunch to the office on a regular basis. After plowing through more Portuguese ribs and garlic shrimp than one man should handle