Given that Motormouth is supposed to be Edna’s contemporary in age and heft, I’m confused by this casting. Jennifer is young enough to be Harvey’s daughter and she doesn’t look like she’s much more than a size 8 these days.

A lot of Katie’s shit seems to be colored by the fact that she has all the daddy issues - how else to explain that ferkakte family foundation (um, aren’t those things supposed to make grants and endowments based off of the investment income generated from your family’s private wealth and not, you know, “casino…

They’re going to bisexual threeway their way out of this?

I’m basically willing to forgive Evangelical Christianity its propensity for Ted Cruz and endless C.S. Lewis hot takes on twitter (yuck) because it gave us your sister. Who can find a Mallory Ortberg? For her price is far above rubies.

I think I can safely speak for everyone who is into that sort of thing when I say “meh. How about you let me know when you got pics of Smith and Kyle MacLahlan circa Twin Peaks kissing?”

To my mind, “wife of old rich guy who gets an appearance fee to lip sync at various gay pride events” is more of a legit brand than “wife of realtor/Atelier of Lainie Kazan-esque beach moo moos.”

In this life, there are but two types of white people:

Everything about Rhonda screams “I was in the second national tour of Pippin and before you ask, of course I fucked Ben Vereen.”

“Hello, shopgirl, I’m looking for a necklace that really says ‘I’m still on TV, Zarin. Ya burnt?’ You know, something versatile that I could wear to an evening event but also in a talking head interview where I concern troll about what a broke crazy slut Sonja is.”

Jezebel: come for the sneering at ingenues and songbirds who are mostly famous for looking beautiful and glassy-eyed in pictures/having sloppy love lives, stay for the daily tongue bath given to Rihanna (so cool! Gives zero fucks! Did you know she's back on Instagram?)

I like to think that Ann Coulter is actually a beautiful Afghan Hound that secretly always loved the hue and cry she caused when she made business on the carpet and then decided to teach herself human-speak in order to parlay her appetite for negative attention into a lucrative career in the limelight that wouldn't…

Frankly, I'm pro-the regular culling of Vibram FiveFinger-types.

Wow, gay hookup apps are full of homosexuals giving voice to all their reptile-brain boner feelings?! INCISIVE COMEDY ALERT.

Dear chumps, thanks for coming out, but if I'm not sweating my Aaliyah movie, I'm not sweating for you.

The Upper West Side is now basically Scarsdale with subway access.

Something better like posting breathlessly about all the cars you'll never own over on Jalopnik?

I'm not really surprised by this. Swinging, the sort of Christianity that maintains that God is very concerned about universal adherence to gender norms (and that he wants you to get rich by investing in real estate! "Come to our prosperity seminar after Brothers of the Word and Ladies Bible Study and Fellowship") and…

I'd like to get on my high horse, but if someone asked me my opinion of Russian fake lesbians (a series of words that combine my two great loves "tedious attention whoring" and "Medicaid fraud!"), the nicest thing I think I could truthfully say is that I believe most of them are probably a little better than murderers.

So, basically, gay men are pretty much all adult-teen sex enablers because NAMBLA was at pride parades in the seventies and Brian Singer is a dirtbag. But heterosexual men aren't because heterosexual men in the civilized world have (at long last and only really quite recently!) accepted the notion that women and girls…

I have some questions for the heterosexual male community! Why is "teen" the most popular genre in heterosexual pornography? Why are 1/9 of women around the world married before they are fifteen? Why haven't you guys come up with a term like "pederast" for men who sexually exploit underage girls, when the sexual…