Are you insinuating that Collateral Beauty was not a collaterally beautiful motion picture?

Cancel the Oscars, and Breitbart gets to say that they beat those stupid Hollywood Jews.

"Typical Hollywood elites won't nominate me for my POWERHOUSE performance in Home Alone 2. Everybody's saying to me 'Don, you're the best actor this year, you should get the oscar.' EVERYBODY is telling me! Hacky-Hackman couldn't handle the stuff I gotta do in this movie. SAD!" -Donald Trump, 1992 Variety Fair Article

That'll happen by midseason.

Marta's fine, but I've been hearing a lot of chatter about this "Hermano" character.

…and Mike Pence gently weeps.

Joel Schumacher waits patiently by his phone.

Beating the shit out of a tire with a sledgehammer has become part of my daily exercise routine.

Daddy's Home II: The Passion of the Daddy

No, that would have Dean Cain in it, and the ending would be different. Instead of the original, the Duck Dynasty crew come in and fix his split personalities with the power of Christian-rock.

Yeah, it's pretty crazy that they're always reporting on what the most important person on the planet is saying and doing. It's almost as if they think he holds some sort of power.

Man, everyone was on Archie's dick, huh? I wouldn't be surprised if he and Pops were grinding.

Another Hollywood elite, who's never even met me, bashing me for no good reason. Media conspiracy perpetrated by liberal movie people and the Clintons. Get over it, I'm the Precident now, get over it. SAD! Watch Celebrity Apprentice!.

BREAKING NEWS: Michael Rapaport has just been named the head of President Trump's new diversity outreach program.

In hindsight, having Michael Vick host the premiere after-party probably should've been a give away.

We did it guys, we Made Shyamalan Great Again! That was what everyone was worried about, right?

I had no fucking idea what this movie was; I had seen it's hilariously stupid poster up in nearly every theater I've been to in the last three months. I was dumbfounded when I saw that it was given prominent showings at all of these theaters, while movies as in-demand as La La Land or Moonlight aren't playing at any…

"this might be where Sterling K. Brown’s character (“a figure from T’Challa’s past”) comes in."

Ricky Spanish.

It's really nice that every La La Land winner made sure to let us know what an underdog of a film it was. I mean, who would've thought that a little $30 million dollar musical with two attractive white leads, a director coming off a film that won a measly three Oscars, and set in Hollywood would be such an awards…