aaaaaaaaaand . . . . . I’m dumb.

*Wet The Beak Ponzi Scheme Awareness Boca Raton Bowl

J.O., CHARGERS, J.O.

Bullshit. Joe Jackson is a no talent hack who only got to where he did by exploiting his children’s talents with no regard for their well being. He has no place being elected to the hall of fame.

The Jets? Seattle beat them in Week 4.

Pffft. If I’m walking around shirtless it’s because I’m too lazy to go find a shirt, not because I’m hoping it’ll entice you to sleep with me.

They meet every Sunday for 16 out of 17 weeks from August to December in the Factory of Sadness on the Cleveland waterfront.

I had to pretend to like reality shows to get a girl.

Thank You for this really hot take Chad.

The M.C. Turing Test?

Just got the email today, and ours is on a Wednesday! It’s from 6-8, and there was a little note about how if you wanna drink after 8, there will be a cash bar. This place sucks.

If you’re not from Brazil, it’s hard to understand the magnitude of this tragedy.

Tulips, as well. Gotta diversify, bruh.

“We want fish sticks!”

In difficult times such as these, it’s nice to see Americans go back to the one unifying, unambiguously good past-time that has lasted them for over 240 years: kicking the shit out of the Irish.

these cars will be subject to extreme vetting.

Curt Schilling, call for you on Line 2. Curt Schilling, call on Line 2, thank you.

For my money, nothing was funnier than Marco Rubio being chased by a robot.

......today I stole a parking spot from a huge pickup truck that had a Trump Pence flag waving in its bed. He parked next to me and was like “Excuse me ma’am I was here first!” To which I replied “Well get used to not being first!” and he laughed. I’m sorry, I am past the point of going high.