It has a filter housing up top correct? There may be an evacuation port or a filter housing cap adapter. 

Umm, you don’t even need to jack the 997 up to change the oil. Easiest car ever to do oil changes in. 

As a mechanic back in the 90's we did a test on cars that needed the oil pains to come off. One we sucked the oil out and the other we drained. Then we took the pans off and looked. Both had thebsame amount of residual oil in them. We didn’t see any difference.

As a fellow BMW owner, I can promise you there’s a dipstick there....

There may be no dipstick but often the dipstick tube remains. I have a B8 A4 Avant that came with no dipstick but the tube was still there, probably a carryover from previous model years or other installations of that engine (2.0 TFSI). I hated the electronic oil guage, mainly because the segments were not enough to…

I have a Jaguar, also no dipstick. But there is a tube, running up through the middle of the filler hole, that is used for extraction.
I still prefer to drain the old-fashioned way from underneath, but with this particular car I have the added hassle of removing all the plastic under-skirting to access the drain plug.

I mean... these are good problems to have. 

Honestly, if I was the kind of person who had $35,000 cash to just drop whenever, I’d absolutely buy this.

The 2 has always been the coupe version of the 1. The 1 will go FWD in the upcoming generation...

The new 1 series and 2 series GC have a different chassis code to the new 2 series coupe. The new coupe has a G42 code which links it to the RWD chassis coding

It’s sure heavy enough to be

Ashes to ashes, rust to rust.  If you weren’t in Ireland, you might still be with us.

Philip Morris still sponsors Ferrari after the 2006 ban, we talk about Marlboro.

I went from having a 4-door TDI to a 2-door GTI and despite the car being better in almost every regard (save for fuel economy of course) I hate not having rear doors!

I can tell you this with certainty..... by the time you get done, you will be an expert.

How good are you with a sawzall and body filler?

MK7 GTI owner here, I totally agree. For a sporty hatchback, 3 doors FTW. This is my 4th GTI since MK5 and I’ve always had the 3-door. If I needed a 4-door hatchback, I’d get a station wagon or a Tiguan :)

I think there’s only one solution here:

You did.

That last part is why I just picked up a CPO ‘16 Sonata Limited. It’s not the excitementmobile of my past vehicles, but damn...I can sleep at night without wondering what’s going to break next.

This must be what adulting feels like.