OKAY SO I texted my mom who is a doctor about this issue.

I feel like if you eat 51 bananas a day, your bowels are FAR from regular.

“What’s that stuff he’s doing near the rim?”

Cowboys’ signing bonus, of course.

Manziel posted bond

Once again, a black man discovers the Blues, but it’s white guys who make money off them.

The true story here is that Ryan Howard hit something.

As a Phillies fan, I kept checking back on Deadspin waiting for this one. It’s the first time I’ve been giddy about this feature.

The city will now be known simply as Louis, because they’ve clearly lost god’s support.

Right, and my plumber is important when the shitter’s clogged, but he doesn’t get cocky and start blowing kisses at the other contractors when the jobs done.

Representatives from Skyline handle collection after the game.

Per law, the dogs are required to use the bathroom that corresponds to their breed identity at birth. Which, for most breeds, is anywhere they damn well please.

The city wasn’t paying anything, just authorizing arena event taxes (paid by arena users) to be used for part of the construction costs. http://www.sonicsarena.com/

[Steps over 10 homeless people]

Counterpoint:

It might be just be a video of a bowl of spaghetti being flung into a ceiling fan.

English books are mad today, but I’d bet they are salivating at the thought of every low table fan betting on their crap team next year.

Damn, Daniel.

If you hosted a gathering of NBA players who don’t flop on the regular you’d be looking at an empty room.