I would do any and all of the things you mention if any of them responded :/

This week in OKC messages I've sent that have gotten no responses:

I was messing around with my OKCupid profile and reflecting on my lack of success*, and it occurred to me that I don't think I've ever been flirted with. In real life, I mean. Ever. Weird realization.

I guess I associate OKC with a younger-skewing group of people. Whether or not that is true I don't know. Also, looking it up, Match isn't free. So there's that.

I dunno; I guess OKC is really the only one on my radar. I don't really know what the demographic on Match or other websites are like. Is there something I should know?

Oh, yeah, I totally get that. I've had more than one occasion where I couldn't send a woman a message because her inbox is full. I can't exactly relate, of course, but I understand that some people are popular enough not to be able to feasibly respond to everything.

That sounds lovely. I'll have a latte with an extra shot of espresso. And a slice of pie.

HA! You should have sent that message. Might as well turn OKC into fun for ourselves.

Yeah, I don't disagree with you. Though on the other hand it's fun to come up with responses to those types of profiles.

Fair enough; I knew that already. Though the rub is that, objectively speaking, very few people are going to be finding me (physically) attractive.

Well, cognitively I know that if someone doesn't find my joke funny, there probably isn't much there to develop anyway. Knowing that that's true doesn't make it any less disconcerting, though.

I'll go with that.

Why do we even try, am I right?

As much as I enjoy reading people's posts about absurd/creepy OKC messages, I thought I'd give a sampling of messages I've sent that I thought were kinda funny but I got no response on:

If OKC allowed custom body types (which would be simultaneously exciting and terrifying), I would recommend "athletically Rubenesque."But, yeah, size 8 certainly thin in my mind.

So here's a question I have: does it seem conceited if I put my body type as "skinny"? I think I'm objectively skinny, though I'm also short, so it can be harder to tell, I guess? (I hope people don't think I'm lying?)

Because I like over-analyzing things with statistics, here's a breakdown of my OKC response rate!

Thanks for the insight.

Oh, yeah, I remember reading that article. Interesting stuff.

That's weird for a whole other reason: he thought that women would care more about the number representing his height than his actual height? If you really dissect it, it gets weirder.