I’m 35 and first saw him in 1999. I’ll tell you this, I’ve seen him 5 times and every one of those were the best show I’ve ever seen. He had the most exhilarating way of bringing people together and he loved us all as fans

Ottoman?

It’s like cake at an office party

Your frequent use of “yammer” has me hungry for sweet potatoes

I tried heroin once... made me suck d*ck several times thereafter

A slushie would be ideal for washing down a “nothingburger”

Whaaaaa?....a Bruce Pearl program under the microscope with that spotless ethical track record?

Damn those ladyfingers are delicious!

Take your damn star!

Why would anyone try to beat up Domonique Wilkins?!?! I met him in an elevator once and he couldn’t have been nicer.

I could come up with one story when I was 15. I was throwing football passes to an overweight kid in a golf cart. My last attempt fell short, but this fat bastard tried to catch it anyway and rolled out. The golf cart apparently had a sticky accelerator and continued ghost-driving though two fences and into a…

+1

Among most elevators I have ridden in, the emergency button seems to stick out further. So...congrats on all your success. Your ex’s new relationship will certainly have its ups and downs

Ugh...I love sneakers

Candy Maldonado now slaps bass with “Hazel Eyes”...a Sister Hazel cover-band. They’re absolutely killing coffee houses in the Oklahoma panhandle

skin color shouldn’t matter

Being trendy comes at an itchy price

+1

I wish my name was half as cool as hers