I got in some shit for this a few years back. I (gay dude) and two female friends, including one (straight, raised Muslim, extremely uptight about sex) whose mom had an apartment in NYC, were staying in that apartment for the weekend.

Question: isn’t it at least a little bit ambiguous whether having a spouse of any gender be “independent” is a good thing?

She walks like a duck, quacks like a duck. She can call herself a banana for all I care; we're on the same side regardless.