Good evening, DUAN. I'm not the only one planning on watching USA vs. Sweden tonight, am I?

@Pete Gaines: Peace out. I'm going to bed as well. For real this time.

@Craig Eshericks Mustache: No. I can, however, kick a really nice through ball to be tapped into a goal. I know that'd be cooler if I were emo and killed deer to drink their blood, but it's all I've got.

I didn't realize we were ranting! My rant:

@Eamus Catuli: I think it's Edward, actually. Edmund's the whiny priss in the Chronicles of Narnia that gets suckered by the White Witch for Turkish Delight.

@EkaterinaBallerina: I will say, since it doesn't tell you if you've been rejected by someone, it's possible to add someone, be rejected, not know it, and then add them again, thinking you forgot to do it. I only mention that because I did that with someone who didn't recognize me; the third time (over the course of…

Easy fix: De-friend your ex BEFORE listing yourself as single. If you're breaking up with him, you should probably do that anyways.

There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

It's a big mistake to DVR two hours of "Lost" with the intention of watching it on Sunday with my wife so I can go play pick-up soccer tonight, isn't it? I mean, there's no way I won't read an episode recap first thing in the morning. Poorly planned by me, I must say.

So their meeting with the Bobs didn't go well, huh?

@Rory B. Bellows: I mean, seriously.

@Detective Bunk: Well, the first step is admitting you have a problem.

I wonder why Dan's wife doesn't like Mark anymore.

@SideAngleSide: That was a really crude pun. Oil of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

That's the last time anyone tells him to "show off his metal face".

@Roto_Tudor: I thought it was kind of cool, actually. You completed the circle.

Seriously, what the Heil is he thinking?

@wonderlic—-myballs: To be fair, Real Madrid only takes shit this seriously when it involves league games to get into the next round robin.

@Dusting for Vomit: I never expected the Spanish Inquisition would pop up in the comments.

@Im Hafner the man I used to be back when I was using PEDs: I bet it's a subliminal ad for "The Sims: Third Reich" expansion pack.