Bob, you could have told somebody.

There are some things in life we’ll never know

If you put $5,000 into a humor detector on January 1, 2017, then you’d be able to comprehend the meaning behind my comment today. Have fun with that knowledge.

You have quite the house if $3000k is just one month of your mortgage. ;)

michelle obama sure seemed to think the position had responsibilities, and i, for one, thank her for her herculean efforts.

They’re literally killing net neutrality, I’d love to know what you think is incorrect about the headline.

“I’m thankful for Robert Mueller.”

I thought the last 10 months would have been sufficient warning about the dangers of replacing a competent black man with an inexperienced and unqualified white guy, but here we are again.

This is like eating a mediocre chicken sandwich at a restaurant and then demanding you also be allowed to eat the beaks and feathers.

Where did you get this information? I have a masters degree in polymer science and both silicone rubber and vulcanized natural rubber have excellent resistance to isopropyl alcohol.

In case you missed John Oliver the other night:

You are correct. Other than animal products, the only thing vegan food cannot contain is flavor.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought this was America!!!”

Your sister named her son after him? You are fucking kidding, right?

“Shit. I spent 3 dollars on this Ben McAdoo haircut, and now I’m getting thrown out before he sees me.”

That last picture looks grim until you realize he probably only wore one shoe to begin with.

He seemed to be enjoying SCPD’s elite crowd control.

Thrown from stand, beaten....

A pair of helpful Miami fans eventually disentangled the fight.

Weird that they’re fighting over a chair when there are clearly ample seats available.