thanks for reading!

Bless the person who diligently watches the “likes” column on Ted Cruz’s twitter 24/7

This is a downer.

I’m reminded of the commenter who told me Houston would be just fine:

Yes.

Am I the only one who doesn’t really care about Theon and Yara? They could kill them both off and be done with it and I’d be alright.

Daenerys is really gonna have Aegon her face when she finds out who she’s hooking up with tonight!

People wont read them because they will never be printed ;)

As editor in chief of Splinter, I must state that Splinter does not endorse Hamilton Nolan’s views about the eclipse. I do, however, support him emotionally.

“Rather than putting pressure on the basketballmen of the Golden State Warriors to travel through crime-infested Washington DC, I will not invite them to The White House. Very Dangerous!!”

I want to take everyone who votes “homer” and walk them from home plate to the outfield fence. IT’S SO FUCKING FAR.

More people can dunk.

I imagine there are more reasonably athletic tallish people out there who can elevate enough to dunk badly than people with the combination of technique and strength to jack a donger.

Plus if there’s definitely more dunkers who can homer than homers who can dunk out there, right? So if most people who can dunk can ALSO hit a home run, you’ve won the argument right there.

Are people actually going out of their way to go stare at the eclipse? Do these people know that, like, Netflix and shit exists?

Am I the only one who doesn’t give a shit about eclipses? I mean, I’ve seen a handful throughout my life and they’re cool to look at for like 1.5 seconds, but I honestly don’t see what the big deal is.

EVERY FUCKING DAY