Okay, this has to stop. It’s not up to pop culture websites, social media, or people you encounter in the real world to not spoil plot elements to things you are interested in. If it matters that much to you, stay current with the show, or, I don’t know, avoid pop culture websites and social media until you catch up.

I never got around to seeing Chris Cornell in any of his bands. I live in the suburbs of Seattle and always figured I would have infinitely many more opportunities to see him. Guess fate proved me wrong.

And other sure-to-be classics like Harley Attacks!, The Harley from Planet Arous, Harley of Darkness, When Harley Met Sally, Harley and the Hendersons, No Country for Old Harley, Edward Harleyhands, Harley Quinn Medicine Woman, and Harley and the Amazing Technicolored Spinoff.

The very fact that I wasn’t clever enough to come up with something so genius means that I don’t deserve such a great name.

Don’t forget Weekend at Harley’s, Harley: Villain in the City, Harley with a Chance of Meatballs, Harley and the Ice Cream Bunny, Harley Goes West, and Despicable Me 4.

I’ll never forget the time in college when I wrote a poem about Cthulhu in my 400-level poetry class, and some schmuck thought I was referencing a South Park character.

Hooray! Xanderpuss made the transition!

Stuff costs more than it used to!

That’s actually the basis of the next Mario & Luigi game.

We prefer the term “daddy”

I think NAMBLA already claimed Waluigi.

Does Gwyneth Paltrow have anything to help treat my post nasal goop?

Next up, the CATO Institue will publish a thinkpiece titled “Is Wario a Libertarian?”

But I don’t have enough time!

Can Jimmy Fallon end already? Don’t get me wrong, I love that the Roots have a steady paycheck, but fuck Lonnie Donegan!

Which works when I’m on my iMac or Macbook, but doesn’t help me when I’m on my phone. Maybe the lesson here is to stop checking the AV Club on my phone and start taking a book to work.

That’s interesting. So we have text styles, but we have to click a button to make it work? What is with Kinja’s obsession with clicking? It takes 15 button presses to do anything around here.

I think how it works is that these posts are technically on the author’s “blog” and that Kinja aggregates these posts to AV Club—a subsidiary of Univision.

On the plus side, my gripes seem to be getting more “recommendations” than on the older, better site. Small victories, I suppose.