Jay Leno: You see this, you hear about this? George Foreman has a new grill out on the market. That's right, he went from punching steaks to grilling them!

It's bizarre seeing Cole Escola quoted on the AV Club. I still know him as that guy from my high school with the tiny backpack that is far too impractical for the early/mid-2000s high school amount of required text books. Did he find time to stop by his locker in between every class? Was he that guy who just mooches…

Breitbart headline: "Cookie Miscegenation Gives Man Food Poisoning"

Vox couldn't find a person with even a moderate amount of charisma to narrate their video? Or even a person who learned their lines first?

This game will bring me great guilt as time spent playing Pokemon will be time spent away from my mayoral duties in Animal Crossing New Leaf.

Not to mention those delicious kringles from the O&H Danish Bakery.

It beats temping, I suppose.

I look forward to watching the countless Let's Plays of this movie on YouTube.

Is he the guy who plays the rubber chicken or is he the one who hits the trash can with a baseball bat?

You see, Santa is jolly and brings gifts, whereas Billy Bob is a rude, crude, drunkard dude who smokes and says foul words. He's a /bad/ Santa.

What is this nonsense and why do I feel so goddamn old?

This election has followed the episode "Trash of the Titans" pretty closely so far. Can we just skip to the end and move America five miles down the road?

Real men use machetes.

Are we sure the Sport-Brella isn't just a Carrot Top prop?

Why the Amazon ad at all? Did the AV Club blow its rent money on hookers and blackjack?

You bought a new Range Rover for under $9k? Wow. You should be advertising your atomic-strength haggling skills and not some scam.

And the AV Club vote is in: "Good Job, Internet is a waste of bandwidth" is the winner of this election.

I think that's the dating app for people who prefer their beer to be in jug form.

When I'm down, I typically watch Ed Wood. I'm not sure how accurate the film is to Edward D. Wood Jr's actual life, but the film displays such optimism and passion, even when everything surrounding the man was shit.

I don't know, is there a lot of crack on Skull Island?