Who starts a bike in gear?

BRIAN KELLY: Geez Cierre! Killing a kid? How could you! What would make you do such a thing? 
CIERRE WOOD: [through tears] I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU! 

So am I the only person who watched the first season of Transparent, decided all of these people except Judith Light were awful human beings, and just gave up on the show? I didn’t see it as a fantastic bit of representation or that Maura was some sort of hero-I thought every main character was a selfish prick, there…

Meh.

NASCAR: Left only.

The stoppage was so that the NCAA could investigate the players receiving improper food benefits.

A hearty fuck-you to the men who decided to display this picture in full during her disciplinary hearing.

Listen, I was 9 when the Tim Burton Batman came out too, but I try not to let it back me into bonkers takes like “Jack Nicolson was a better Joker than Heath Ledger.”

Umpire Tosses Dick Who Argued Balls And Strikes; Tossed Ball Strikes Umpire’s Dick And Balls

uh-oh, AIPAC is gonna be all up in here over this anti-Zionism

Put it in a giant bag of rice when you’re done with the soak and it should be a-okay!

“She didn’t have a lot of talent, she was just kind of a horse. But she was my horse,” Bernstein said, adding, “and she had just been accepted at USC!”

then rest his or her chest and body down on the padded longitudinal bench-like assembly

maybe Our Dumb President is right and the Jets really are too complicated to operate

Lebron said he was activating playoff mode, but he failed to mention he was activating J.R. Smith playoff mode. 

Being a Russian ship, I expect we’ll have dash cam footage soon.

... but wasn’t taken seriously by doctors.

Maybe if Jezebel didnt post 5 things about KK for every 1 for ET.....?

Half the time you people are complaining he screws underage women, and now you are complaining that he doesn’t get to speak.

Goddamn, this was a tragic but necessary read.+1