Great list.

...and want to read the complete works of Shakespeare.

I realize Kelsey’s new, and Megan’s at Jezebel, but you should have had someone show you Deadspin house style for lists. Because this really should have been ranked 1-14, with #13 “Getting hit by a copy of Infinite Jest”.

Sort of like Andrew Luck recently, you have to respect Byfuglien taking some time away from the game to ask some tough questions like “Do I really want to spend another year of my life in Winnipeg” and “No, seriously, is there anyway for me to leave Winnipeg?”

Wait till you have kids.

I do think that once you two are married and ensconced in your own domesticity that the problem will become less pronounced.

I say Le Mons start.  Lets bring some carnage.  

“He said that? Jesus.”

When I covered MLS, I used to eat so much of the media food at Gillette Stadium in the press box that I had trouble staying awake during post-game press conferences, and that food is “reasonable mass-catering” quality at best. If I had these amenities to work with I’d have died of overindulgence at like my second…

Don’t raise your voice at me

I was not expecting chill U.S. Open ball person to be my Monday motivation to be upbeat and not to let little annoyances at my job get me down, but here we are.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it sounds like your boy is going to need some good old-fashioned therapy if he wants to make any more conversions this year. Pray for him.

But when the horse went down on its knees, Pence left in a huff.

Football is for cops. 

If you leave them be, they’ll just drift to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch on their own.

Fifth: St. Louis. This would simply be more needless punishment for a city that doesn’t deserve it.

42.8% better actually.

If they rewind the video far enough they will see when Johnny Manziel snuck the jersey into the museum in the first place.

What a boob. Good luck building a following by being a racist on Twitch, Dan!

A Hooters at Six Flags, no less.