One thing you don't notice until the very end of the GIF:

This kid (and I have trouble calling a 6 foot 6 20 year old a kid) is a freaking monster. I am tempted to watch every South Carolina game this season to see what Jadeveon Clowney will do next.

Arpaio is easily one of the worst sherries in America. Crime is down everywhere in Arizona, except his county:

How did he become a folk hero? This....

For the religiously inclined, the Cardinals are God's way of showing the people of Arizona what He thinks of your Nuremberg Laws. "Fuck Joe Arpaio", indeed.

It was after everything was over and he was walking away from me, a 5'5" 115 pound girl.

Your stadium looks like a giant toaster. Cool field though.

This franchise feels like the NFL version of Alice: wanted to move to Los Angeles, broke down in Phoenix on the way there, and got stuck working for a greasy owner.

+1 comfy chair.

This reminds me very much of the ESPN 30/30 documentary on Bo Jackson. I'm a lifelong Auburn fan, so I would love it if everything about the myth of Bo was true, but some of it you just roll your eyes. The interesting thing is that part of that film's narrative was that Bo was the last major athlete for which such…

This is Glendale, Arizona's weather forecast for the month of August. I'm just going to leave this here, as I may spontaneously burst into flames if I stare at it any longer.

"If Bill Bidwill died today, I would be pissed it wasn’t yesterday."

I tried to get an autograph from Clowney last year at the player's luncheon before the Michigan game. It was after everything was over and he was walking away from me, a 5'5" 115 pound girl. I reached out and touched his shoulder and he didn't even notice. I feel like I could have sucker punched him and he would have…

Phoenix (and surrounding areas) is a want-to-be Los Angeles that is far too stupid to co-opt any LA culture that is in any way positive or interesting. Phoenix itself is like one big chain - restaurants, malls, and houses that all look the same. Scottsdale is a third-rate Beverly Hills impostor, where men all think…

A friend of the family took a part time job cleaning the stadium up after events.

also worst Cardinals: Richelieu and Ximenez

I guess the uniforms are cool and all (much cooler than I thought they would be), and the group of guys they got together look like they know what they're doing, but I still have very low expectations for this team. I mean, I know the transfer window is still open, but even the Amish seem like a more complete side at…

Perhaps Dan can catch on with the San Francisco Earthquake. Or the New Orleans Hurricane. Maybe the New York 9/11.

I'd never have expected a bad decision from a team that chose to name itself for one of the greatest disasters of the 19th century

I'd never have expected a bad decision from a team that chose to name itself for one of the greatest disasters of the 19th century, that killed hundreds of people and destroyed miles of property.