Look, Trump just wants to democratize executions, okay? I mean, why just ONE white get - excuse me, I meant “git” — ALL the fun.

“Yer honnah, my cliunt, he wiz frayed four hizz lauff ande hawd no cherrce but to drawn hizz wuhpun and deesecharge it strate to that darkfella’s center line of his masssses, as hee wizz chrained ter do in that videoooe “Duh Perge.” 

Banning evictions is not the whole solution. If applied by itself, it will soon cause a ripple effect of mortgage defaults which in turn will trigger bank failures. That will make 2008 look like 1964 by comparison; think 1931.

Every time a working - class person is evicted, an anti-abortion activist gets her wings.

“My carmel apple mini bundt cakes with hot carmel sauce were to die for.”

Instant pot rules. It saved my Thanksgiving when the burner under my mashed potatoes quit.

Brown liquor, brown liquor, what do you see?

How come “Drink up” and “Drink it down!” mean the same thing?

Well, Tromp can't pardon him, so ... 

Syphilis? Where would he find a sexual partner?

I think you meant ONAN in the first paragraph.

And then he would pull out his .32 and waste the traffic cop.

It’s not true that masturbation does that. It doesn’t make you go blind, either. It only affects your neck wattles.

“Steve Bannon is the portrait in Bill Barr’s attic.”

“BuT tHe RiOtS iN dEmOcRat CItiEs”

The Net has nothing to don with it.

Most states haven't legalized Pot.

The Fourth Reich fell. You mean the Fifth Reich.

Wow, talk about “the silent part out loud.”

“Paging Dr Schadenfreude ...”