It worked so well for Wallace Simpson.

Let us not forget the notorious Mrs. Wallace Simpson- a Southerner so white she traded up to the British Royal Family.

Would you consider “John” old-timey?

I know to black Todds.

My Grandmother’s name was Gertrude ... so, uh, you have a point, but as to “Bertha,” what have got against Kaiser Willhelm’s daughter?

The catch is that in the late Nineties, my fellow Caulk Asians launched the biggest cultural appropriation project since Elvis: making up “unique names” and “dissident spellings” of their own. Among others, I am thinking of poor Karmyne who bagged my groceries the other day and little Cyprus who hangs out with my…

But Daenerys went from being the Mother of Dragons to the Queen of Genocide, killed by her own lover to stop the killing.

I’m afraid that if we impeach, we’ll get Pence in 2020 and he’s worse.

If a transwoman came in his store, he’d probably shoot her.

Speaking as a Bowie Superfan AND a Southern White Guy, that haircut isn’t within ten miles of Mr. Stardust. It’s a half-assed redneck mullet where the barber (his wife) took too much off the back in a desperate effort to keep him off the PWT watch list at the local Sheriff’s..

I suspect not because given his four decades of assaults, it is likely that some of his victims have passed.

Let us not forget that his victims were Black women.

I always thought Michael was named after a vetanarian.

It’s actually “a tube of Caulk Asians.”

Let us take a moment of silence for the two thousand or so girls who were named “Daenerys” the last few years. That ain’t gonna go well.

Are you sure he wasn’t a Bryce?

You can’t get much BETTER than that.

When my cousin Ann got married, her hushand’s family was disappointed that he didn’t marry a fellow Jew. My response (at age 15): If they wanted him to marry Jewish, they shouldn’t have named him “Scott Savage.”

I’m curious: if you could only have one, would the Splinter readership prefer Medicare for All or impeachment? Which is it — humanity or revenge?

Did it show?