I remember when I was in college, people judged me not on what I was doing with my life, but by the potential of what I could do. My parents and their friends looked at me and said, “Man, LPShea is going to a top school. Maybe he’ll be a doctor, a lawyer, or start his own company. So much potential!”

The 76ers: Selling their fans a horse by taking them to a shit stained barn and telling them “With all that shit, there’s gotta be a pony in there somewhere.”

Far from only attracting his hardcore fans, I think The Grantland Basketball Hour might have been actively turning off Simmons devotees. I listen to probably 90-95% of his basketball ‘casts and I could never make it even half of a single episode of the TV show because it was almost literally THE EXACT SAME CONTENT. He…

Shut up

I’d stop the Patriots from taking Tom Brady. Fuck ‘em.

Oh look, no one’s called Olynyk a thug yet.

First off, brilliant article.

About 3 months ago. I was asleep and had a dream where I had to take a dump during and as they say my bowels released, one of those wet shits. My wife was pissed cause we had to change all the bed sheets and I told her "it's not like I did it on purpose."

I was 14 and walking home from band practice at night, full of nasty pizza and bad weed. Just could not keep it together until I got home. I could feel it crowning for at least a couple of blocks and all of a sudden it hit like the hammer of an angry god. At least I was able to make it into a wooded area where I could…

I’m not.... shitting you ;)

I was 24. We stepped out of the subway after finishing a lovely Indian curry dinner. My girlfriend at the time decided to end the night at her place, but not before heading to the video store to pick up a nightcap. Maybe it was the offensively bright yellow and blue combination of the stores decor that triggered the…

Two Sunday nights ago. I was leaving the Yankees/Sox game and thought I could hold it for the 2 hour train ride. I got full on nachos and beer all night, so things were rumbling. Needless to say I thought I could let a silent one slip on the train, only to feel that wet, warm feel we all know. This happened no more…

Reggie must have said this 10 times during the game. I kept waiting to see if any of his “puns” would eventually meet the criteria of actually being puns.

It’s like Syracuse raped Wyoming.

If a slightly-to-moderately popular band gets more famous I’ll have a story. A pending sexual investment, if you will.

There’s literally no way that’s true but God bless you anyway

For what it’s worth, I heard a similar story about John Mayer doing the same thing to a friend of a friend (I know, a very credible source) after a show he played in Toronto. EXCEPT while he was jerking off up on to her he repeatedly said “Tell me you love my music! Tell me you love my music!” !

I know a girls in Minnesota who hooked up Daryl Hall after a Hall and Oates concert and bore his spawn.

He got his bell rung.