Yeah, at 33 Jesus spent a lot of time just hanging out too.

Sounds like he has a good Head on his Shoulders.

Actually, both men served in the Coast Guard. Guess how many stories mention that the victim served compared to those mentioning the murderer served?

Holy Fuck you're right. Maybe he was running towards a loaded cannon. Better put 8 rounds in him just be sure.

Just two things of note

One thing I found interesting in recent news (and by "interesting" I mean "depressing and soul crushing") is that, while 36 black people were killed last month, officers being killed in the line of duty is at all time low and, according to an NPR report I heard over the weekend, there has been 46+ days without an…

Because I know that someone in the comments will talk about how dangerous it is to be a police officer, just wanting to come home alive, etc.

It is more dangerous to be employed as a landscaper in America than it is to be employed as police officer. This is a fact that is true and is verifiable.

Fucking a. I came in wanting to say "Not for me". And its true. Every cop I've ever met, even when I fucked up as a teenager, was nice (or at least... respectfully assertive).

it's impossible to understate how poorly this stuff reflects on the US to outsiders. a while ago I had someone from Kenya ask me about all the cop shootings going on back home, saying how horrible it is. you know things are bad when someone from Kenya shows you sympathy for shit happening in your home country.

Unexpected Thug Life classic:

I wonder if the stenographer recorded that.

I did a ton of coke tonight and thought id say that I found it funny to say John Calamari instead of John Calapari.

How do you afford internet access with all your debt?

My son was born on April 1st and that little disappointment continues to be the cruelest prank the universe has ever played on me.

The only thing I've ever agreed with Roger Goodell on is his conversion plan. Score a touchdown and get 7 points, or you can go for "2" and get 8, but if you don't convert, you only get 6.

I never knew it was broken. I mean, they're a 1 minute lull in excitement in a game full of lulls in excitement. I don't need to start shitting my pants after every touchdown.

Omarion goldmine.

Given Mike and Mike's nearly all-commercial format, the interview ended with

A friend I trust sent this fat dog to me.