I’m sorry you’re going through this. This election has torn people apart and I can’t believe how some people can honestly not see where we are headed.

I haven’t been with my boyfriend nearly that long, but this is a source of tension between us as well. He voted for Gary Johnson and now he’s casually like “wow Trump really is nuts”. It’s hard for me not to scream at him. Our state nornally goes blue.

My normally lefter-than-me husband keeps quoting the jankier, more sexist portions of Glenn Greenwald’s Intercept articles, and I’m getting increasingly depressed, too. With you in spirit.

Oh, shut the fuck up with that garbage. If a black person walked up to me and called me a honky, it would be hilarious. Racism comes from power discrepancy and nothing more.

Or maybe the way in which America embraced all these reality shows was just a symptom of the decline of education and intelligence that allowed this orange excrement to get elected.

I’ll have you know that this stuff works quite well. Just the other day my supervisor was explaining that... well, she was saying something about numbers or whatever. I flailed my arms wildly and frantically screamed “WHERE DO YOU COME FROM!? WHERE DO YOU COME FROM!?” in her face. I am now CEO.

I was once rollerblading around a group of rollerblading kids in a new neighborhood I’d just moved to. I was half a block down from them and I wanted to be accepted so I did my slickest moves, my tried to catch some air... real hotdoggin’. I saw them skating in my direction so I decided to jump over a manhole, when I…

One of the few courts where being white is a disadvantage.

I’m not racist. It’s the white people in the United States who were sadistic, raping slave owners. It’s a fact. It also isn’t racist to state that it is white people who chase down, beat and hang black people from trees. That’s a fact too. It’s a fact that white people treated other people as property, buying and…

The Phillie Phanatic, or as Youcis sees him, the Ecuadoran immigrant who came to Philly in the 70s and took two hard-working Americans’ jobs.

(Deshaun Watson sees the play of the Browns and 49ers) (begins scouring the bottom of Deadspin comment sections for work at home testimonials and opportunities)

Don’t. You just grabbed an opportunity

Nope. Ginger Adam Driver

Donald Trump?

Maybe. She’s overly conciliatory and self-effacing like Veronica...

I’m pretty sure the common thread here is marijuana. The employees got freaked out by a customer and hid in the back: high. Dude goes to CVS in the middle of the night looking for cheese and spends 45 minutes wandering around the store: high.

I am, again, legit horrified by race relations in this country - but how did they look around a CVS for 30-45 minutes?

As a resident of NJ, the answer is no. Last year when he was on his FAILED (lol) campaign, we had a frigging blizzard here. When asked by reporters why he didn’t come back to, you know, govern the state he snidely responded, “What am I supposed to do, shovel snow?”

Don’t forget that as governor of Indiana—THIS FUCKING YEAR—he signed a bill (thankfully thrown out by a human being of a judge) that would require women to hold funerals for fetuses not carried to term. HE’S A MONSTER!