It’s because - just like Punisher and Bullseye - Fisk’s mother is *also* named Martha.

Buffalo buffalo buffal Buffalo buffalo buttholes. 

Speaking of Carpenter, I don’t think anything fills me with as much terror as the “transmission” sequences from PRINCE OF DARKNESS. It’s SO simple but something about the whole idea rattles me all the way to my bones no matter how many times I watch that movie.

Autopilot makes it lots easier to climb out the sunroof and have sex on the roof of the car.

Roomba take the wheel, momma needs a hit.

I look forward to our first robot-on-robot road rage incident, which will somehow involve a baby alligator, someone shaving their genitals on their way to their ex-lover’s house, and flip-flops.

I used to do this, but after 10 years of sobriety I give no fucks. I get my big-ass diet coke, and if someone asks why I’m not drinking, I tell them I don’t want to. If they won’t let go, I tell them I’m an alcoholic with 10 years of sobriety, and if I were going to relapse, it would be on better booze with better…

Is it “sike” or “psych”?

I think I would puma pants.

Use the slogan “Happiness is Savory.”

I’d tell you to eat shit, but you’re already dining at Chipotle.

Melgalvis always had a reputation for being intense, but now he’s just fucking metal.

Still disappointing though compared to his mentor.

Pizzagate investigators are not dumb. We are some of the most exemplary pieces of humanity you will ever meet. I have met such wonderful people while investigating the pizza of gates, such as Göringpepe1982 and his three lizards, and of course, Shannon, whose constant struggle against the debilitating morgellons is an…

I’ll take Brady Quinn for $200

If Jim Rome masturbated into a cursed blonde wig, this would be the result.

No difference in stress on the suspension or bearings, with or without hubcentric rings. You’ll need longer studs unless they’re part of the spacer, of course. You’re always relying on the clamping force of the lugs to hold the wheel in place, hubcentricity is mostly for ease of installation. The tapered seats on the…

Honey? Have you seen my key to the Internet?... It's a card... It has a little gold thing thing on it. Someone wrote on it in Sharpie... I don't know why they wrote on it... Yes, that does seem like an odd thing to do. Please, honey, focus. Have you seen it? It's importa... No, I'm not being short with you....…