Now that's just greedy!

I went to type 'where do you live that this is commonplace' then I remember it happened to me when I was in my apartment watching TV, and some creepy came up to my window and whipped his dick out.

Their cookies taste like shit, which makes this story even more offensive.

Haha yeah, I was thinking, "if someone wanking at you had you this shook, do not under any circumstances ever ride the Atlanta metro after 8pm."

So if somebody starts jacking off at you, pull out your camera phone.

"Do I want a cookie? Are you fucking kidding me? I want you to call the police! But if you got some cookies lying around too, I wouldn't mind a few."

We can share him, I'll take him on Wednesdays and Thursdays, you know why. And we'll alternate weekends. We'll work it out

This is not the first time I've imaginary boyfriended Efron on Jezebel, and it wont be the last!

That is absolutely my summer jam this year. Also, I was alarmed at how hot Calvin Harris is. I had never seen him before I watched this video. Now I have a huge crush on him, because in addition to being really, really, ridiculously good-looking, he is also Scottish.

NOW I CAN HAVE MY IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND BACK

This looks disturbingly like a pro-date-rape campaign.

This tweet.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA DED.

You drew me in, I clicked, I hooted with laughter and you gutted me like a fish.

That's Rupert, Dougal's righthand man. He's played by Grant O'Rourke, who is very responsive to fans on Twitter and an all-around great guy.

Lolll, thank you!! I originally wanted something along the lines of "Mrs.Sam.Coulson" but most variations were taken.... I love your name and avatar just as much!!!! =) =) =)