I thought part of recovery/12 step is NOT to get into relationships while in the program. But of course, I know 99.9999% of this from watching Intervention.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????????

Claiming a pregnant woman is a nod to body diversity is malarkey but this is so pretty. Old masters/Renaissance painting pretty.

COURTNEY STODDEN IS A NATIONAL TREASURE

He "was young," a few months ago? This might be a new record for how early in the day I already want to punch myself in the face (at least re: something that wasn't related to politics). He should probably read like, 900 books and think about what he's done before he's allowed back on the internet for any reason. Get…

nah, this

"elderly Pony Express maven"

quick, what are a few titles worse than "teenage Vine star"

How I picture Nash Grier and Cameron Dallas, all grown up:

Let's just all remember to take Rita Skeeter with a grain of salt. She is known for writing things that aren't necessarily true. Everyone is posting that Ron is balding now; when I read that, in my mind I imagined him constantly asking Hermione if it's true, while unconsciously touching his head. Also, there is NO WAY…

If you have not checked out The Toast's insidiously funny rundown of the Zac Efron and Michelle Rodriguez coupling, you are missing out. ("I'm having so many good times all at once now. It's hard to tell from my face, but that's…this is good, what is happening to me now.") It's like they employed psychic mind…

This is also bad news if these guys can survive in our rivers.

Hacking your uterus, nbd.

Allow me to just say

FIREBALL. That's perfect.

I feel like Targaryen shouldn't even have been wine — it should've just been the most flammable liquid they could find, like gasoline or something.