Why is he allowed a platform?

I loved Heather already but this is beyond wonderful. Bookmarked for a rainy day!

I don't like you.

Just because you said that I'm gonna go there, buy three burgers, pull a bottle of ketchup out of my purse and drown every bite of meat in delicious sugary tomato sauce.

My mother would never try to stifle my creativity like you just did.

You're not my mom.

Me during the entire video:

It's one thing to refuse to do substitutions—which sometimes I think is stupid if you already have the ingredients on hand anyway—but to refuse to serve entire CONDIMENTS???

I've been trying to put into words the conflicting feelings I've been having about this all day reading the reactions and this perfectly sums it up. Thank you.

Every time you shit on the Cubs my heart grows about three sizes. <3

Patrick Bateman was better at hiding it.

Why are you even commenting on this article then? It seems like you disagree with the whole point of it, in which case I invite you to talk to the author, not me.

There are people who do mind though (me included) and parents should be aware of that.

Can we also talk about people who let their kids stare at people through/over the seats and/or kick the seat of the people in front of them? Those people are also assholes.

I shop at both. I tend to buy basic items from more expensive stores and then use Forever 21 and all that for the trendy stuff that I switch out/throw out after every season or when it wears out.

Hey, I've had some of my best times in alleys behind fast food restaurants!

This is terrible, Mark.

Everything.

I don't swallow them, I just swish them around in my mouth and then spit them back to assert dominance.

At this point I am just hoping that each and every one of these trash monsters dies in a freak jerkoff accident. #BanMen