Moses could tell a vibrating egg joke that would really make you think.

Jim Jeffries stole Doug Stanhope's bit about shoving a vibrating egg up your ass.

The cast will be comprised entirely of albinos.

The darkest timeline.

C'mon, do it for this puppy.

I can't believe Alison Brie was working for Breitbart in the first place.

Hopefully, Ice Cube will rediscover his inner gangsta and punch Maher square in mouth.

This does not change my opinion of him in the slightest.

I'll be watching the Grateful Dead documentary "Long Strange Trip" and exploring Solstheim in "Skyrim."

This benefit concert was no slouch, either:

The Happy Mondays feed bread laced with strychnine to pigeons.

This might be the first time the Internet actually did a great job.

I prefer "Dwemer."

I can't take the Bourne movies after the first one. The disjointed nature of the action scenes leaves me disoriented and nauseous to the point where I once had to leave the theater and get my bearings in the lobby.

Nuke him from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

I'm amazed Fox News would feature a band with an album called "America Must Be Destroyed."

Behold, the ultimate Pog!

Noel Gallagher, no deal.

I wasn't worried.

Capable of better effort, Internet.