It’s been a very long time since I’ve bought a jersey with a player’s name on it. Bennett’s trying to make me break that streak.

Shouldn’t that be “United We Kneel”, Spike?

Someone tell Jeff Sessions we’ve located a leaker.

Oh, it goes much further back than that...

Drop Dead Fred’s foreign policy ideas are surprisingly cogent.

“the killing of black bodies”

“might as well stick up for everyone who is misrepresented.”

Why not wait and watch the show to see how it is?

“That’s a real nice Fourth Estate you got there. Be a shame if somethin’ happened to it.”

How can you not include “Reggie?” Which started out as “regular” (as in regular ol’ weed with seeds & stems), was shortened “reg” or “regs” and somehow it morphed into “Reggie.”

If there’s one thing I know for sure about comedians - which I learned the hard way from Bob Saget, the sad way from Robin Williams, and the insane way from Cosby - it’s that they all have *issues*, yo. All of them.

Gallows humor is all you can have about it.

What will you do for $11.50 because that’s all I’ve got on me right now?

I ain’t Chicano, pero soy Latino. That shit sounds so fake and Juanito-come-lately.

Messing with Hoover was a real drag.

I don’t see why people are complaining. That is actually Beyonce in there, well at least it’s her former human shell. The time finally came for her Lizard Person implantation so like everyone else who joined the Illuminati in their intergalactic quest, her body has been preserved in a light wax coating for all to…