Parks and Recreation. He’d learn a lot more about government that way. And the West Wing.

If the Braves bring back Otis Nixon as a consultant that probably means they intend to keep stealing.

It’s really not that tough to figure out why, is it....?

Everyone has lied to me, everyone has deceived me… the SS has left me in the lurch. The German people have not fought heroically. It deserves to perish… it is not I who have lost the war, but the German people

This is pretty much where I’m at right now.

“Irsay dropped this minor bomb”

As the only certified analrapist in on Deadspin, allow me to respond...Carmelo would be better if instead of orange he wore blue sleeves to match his jersey. He just blue himself.

Yes, this is two straight Bear Fridays

Fucking idiots. I mean, I know it doesn’t taste much different, but you’re supposed to take the paper off before you eat the sandwich. Jesus.

I vote Mike Tyson!

Too bad Dwight Eisenhower isn’t still alive.

Bro. Do you even lift?

Please note that Ohio is a culturally rich and diverse state. And while Skyline Chili might be a beloved foodstuff in the greater Cincinnati area, it’s barely an afterthought in Columbus. Once you’ve trekked clear up north to Cleveland, it’s nothing more than a source of amusement.

Progress? Seems like Celtics fans would have no problem busing Crowder to a different team to help balance the racial makeup of the squad.

That depends; whose blood is it?

Can I go home?

I haven’t seen a pissing contest involving somebody with a prosthetic leg this hotly contested since Paul McCartney’s divorce.

At Perkins, most likely.

Whether Stuttgart are back and performing well in the Bundesliga in a year or two, and whether the goals of Green are a key part in getting them there, is now a matter to a large extent in Green’s own hands.

You know what? Fuck the Thunder. They moved from the 13th biggest market to the 43rd biggest market and fucked over the people of Seattle in the process. They then cried poverty when it came time to sign Harden and decided to trade him rather than pay him $4m more over the life of his contract. By not keepoing a good…