St. Louis Post-Dispatch headlines:

Well, their economic anxiety just got worse.

Nope. He’s the DC, not the special teams coach.

I have a few quibbles, but on the whole I think you pretty much nailed it.

Congratulations, Kyrie, on being the first ever person to drive Boston’s streets and still have a positive attitude about the city.

+1 quilted, quicker, fucker upper

Looks like someone didn’t manage to throw enough paper towels around the Caribbean.

Only Australians would be incompetent enough to screw up hating on Macklemore.

I, for one, am outraged that a white guy has been denied the right to express himself however the hell he pleases on a football field.

The Trump family buys shoes too.

you use Popeyes instead?

Screw you, Redford! I will continue to use Pat Tillman as I patriotically rock out to Springsteen’s “Born in the USA!”

Good for Mike Riley and his soon to be borne buyout check. Mazel Tov!

That explains the Savage Garden fandom.

Eh, my vote is Jennifer Connelly.

Marchman’s quest for his One True Worst Take may have finally been completed here. “A steak is not food.” “An eyeball is not a body part.” “An eagle is not a bird.” “Chess is not a board game.”

“Needs more incest! And dragons.”

i’ve been drunk enough to voluntarily eat Arbys, but never drunk enough to become racist.

Give Kelly credit. It’s been almost seven years since any Notre Dame students have needlessly died under his watch.

What if the brand of cell phone was called “the Raven?” I know, genius.