Haven’t seen someone spend this much time running around Philadelphia with inevitable disappointment on the horizon since Hillary Clinton.

Somebody call Draymond. His services are needed.

NOT GOING TO BE PLAYING IN NEBRASKA THEN BOYS. SHOULDA CHECKED THAT EGO AT THE DOOR.

Wouldn’t the Cornhuskers have to sign off on allowing another professional franchise so close to Lincoln?

I went to college in Iowa and spent a good amount of time in Omaha too (college World Series kicks ass), and NOBODY from any of those cities he mentioned is gonna haul themselves down to Omaha in big enough numbers for it to matter. IA and NE are pro-sports dead zones. Also bars close at 1AM in Nebraska. Fuck that…

I recently went to Omaha. They think they are the Portland of the midwest. They’ve never been to Portland.

I got a new job, you guys. This is the final post of “subtlename-notatwork”

What percentage of people who are both Cubs fans and Democrats do you think would trade the World Series title for a Trump loss?

“You Only Move Twice,” with honorable mention to “The PTA Disbands.”

That’s a Turbo Shandy

The real shocker is that it wasn’t at a Kum & Go

Jack up the booze but don’t overpower the Radler with another flavor. Respect.

since he cant sell burgers at his restaurant and can’t sell his steaks at sharper image, he has to take his beef to twitter.

+191

“Hey, Wake Forest, the same thing happened to me at Antietam!”

Secretary of the Navy because... water?

When is this guy getting a cabinet position in the Trump administration?

No, no tip necessary. NJ requires that gas station attendants hold it for you, some insurance thing.

Question for a NJ resident: am I supposed to tip the guy who holds my penis in the gas station rest room? He told me he works there.