I’m starting to think every romcom should come with that as a disclaimer, read out by the lead actor, in the middle of the fucking movie.

Trump supporters literally do not care that Trump is enriching himself. He’s a businessman, that’s his job to do business and make money. Who cares! Are you someone who hates success? America is going to be so successful under him, only a total cuck would care that Trump’s going to make himself even more rich because…

Roos are for eatin’, wearin’ and fightin’. Aussies keep wombats, koalas and knives as pets.

Most people I know would be thrilled to get a letter from the President elect.

I’m confused. So was the price wrong, bitch, or was the price right, bitch?

Tim Duncan has been pretty much non-existent for the Spurs this season, and they are still 18-5.

IT IS IN TRUMP’S AMERICA YOU CUCK

If it’s Sully we’re talking about here, these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

I don’t think I’m comfortable with the only Jewish item in this catalog being made by fucking Nordic Ware.

Sully wouldn’t have needed to do any of that, because he would have made a refueling stop.

Sully Sullenberger would’ve just dropped that sucker in the coca fields, stuck a large wad of leaves in his cheek, and with nothing but a self-inflating life vest for protection single-handedly taken down the cartel and saved a flock of endangered short-crested coquettes.

This boy needs to rot for the rest of natural born days...his movement does not need a martyr.

416 texts? Well, I guess she wasn’t up, after all.

Do these jobs count as created by Obama or Trump?

For wilfully turning a blind eye to young people hurting each other, Asiata faces a possible sentence of 20-40 years coaching college football.

Maybe President-elect Trump can come up with some government subsidies to retain this job in Indiana.

I give up. Who is still in the Chris league?

This is such bullshit. The Athletics are only a “large market” team if you judge the size of the market by the number of people in the area compared to other markets.

Solution: Luxury condos for trust-fund hipsters to be located in that giant-ass foul area.

Welcome to the post-fact world Barry.