Seriously, Deadspin, before all the snark pours in, for stories like this you should be noting the suicide prevention hotline number and other relevant resources.

Please if you are having suicidal thoughts or just struggling with depression talk to a friend or call the suicide prevention hotline. They’re there to help: 1-800-273-8255.

Fluid Film. I haven’t bought any yet, but I’ve heard that it works like a dream. I wish I’d discovered this stuff before DD’ing my 240z all last winter. I plan on throwing this under my Outback before winter this year though.

Wow,I’m with you on the Michigan winter salt destruction.I’ve been driving an old Escape November through March.I can truthfully say,it has not rusted at all through 5 winters.I owe that to emptying a full can of WD40 into the inside of every exposed panel.Up through the drain holes,dripping on down.Unbelievable how…

Also known as ‘slide lubricant.’ True story. Look it up.

Sir, please, that is not merely “booze.” That is Dom Perignon. You uncouth peasant.

Was the tester wearing the approved Harley Davidson long sleeve t-shirt, the approved Harley Davidson gay pirate tie dyed do rag? Did they have their keys on an approved Harley Davidson key fob? Had it recently been unloaded from a trailer behind a Harley Davidson branded F-150 with a Harley Davidson plate bracket?

By all means I certainly wish a long and trouble-free future from your vehicle - but you cannot judge a vehicle’s long-term reliability on its first 15,000 miles.

So, really, #1 should just be “People who are Doug DeMuro”

“I’ve had this thing 8 hours and not a problem! Except for that one thing, but that was covered by warranty.”

I think you’re missing the point. Neither Aaron nor whomever suggested the Wrangler for this list is saying that Wranglers should be track-day beasts, or excel at everything. They’re not saying the Wrangler sucks because it doesn’t corner like a Miata. They’re simply saying that certain naive people buy Wranglers…

Pictures of Doug should have been used for 3, 6 and 10.

Would you like some wood to knock on?

15 thousand miles?! Slow down, you’re using up all the fancy too fast.

MOST cars these days are good at MOST things versus the Wrangler that is literally only good at one thing.

3 reasons to never pity Doug

Still one of the best explanations for crash ever. “The tires were 1 psi off!”

Because it’s the S-class of bikes?

what