Who’s more sensitive, someone who experiences emotional distress at discussions of sexual assault, or someone who experiences emotional distress over a sign warning people who might feel emotional distress at discussions of sexual assault?

Mastress. Make it happen.

#notallunservicedelevators

23 body sculpting tips that will have your dad drooling.

Yes Ivanka, Cosmo readers do and should care about issues impacting women and children (and families of all kinds) which is why they fucking asked you those questions.

The fans scare me more than anything. I believe it was on Jezebel that they chronicled going to a live show for some Youtube folk. It was then that I realized that this new world order has left me behind.

I actually enjoyed my first and only time serving on a jury, though it made me painfully aware that a jury of my peers is not who I want judging me. I thought the whole process was entirely interesting, though my fellow jurors were dumb as rocks. The whole thing ended up having to be retried because one of the jurors…

I think Girl Scout Cookies may be an acquired taste.

If anything I actively avoid places and products sponsored by the Teen Mom crew

This is how you know Blake Lively was a mean girl in high school. Because she thinks up shit like “meaty eyelids.”

WHAT’RE WE CALLING THEM? T-HIDDLES? TIDDLES? LORD AND TAYLOR?

I like how they claim to be worried about privacy and safety...then that asshole posts a selfie that includes women in restroom.

It’s not like there’s a DNA scanning force field at the door that prevents literally anyone from just... walking in, regardless of their intentions. It’s a public restroom, not a bank vault in the Matrix.

They’re PUBLIC BATHROOMS FFS.

I would die of irony if one of these conservative douchewaffles was shot by a woman using concealed carry.

I’m lactose intolerant so I’ve found that drinking a milkshake or eating some brie is a delicious way to “detox” my body.

Once when I was a freshman in high school a fellow nobody freshman approached me to say, “So I just wanted to tell you, there’s this rumor going around that I hooked up with [popular senior boy who absolutely did not know either of us existed], and I wanted to tell people it’s totally not true. Just wanted you to…

I ALREADY PRE ORDERED MINE.

This is ridiculous but can you imagine?

What if...okay what if...guys guys what if...what if food ate people?