My God.

My exclusive program of diet and ridicule will really get results.

Lord, I tried not to laugh. I tried.

These people seem nice.

Hmm. I finally caught a Squirtle.

Having writers decide who’s in the hall of fame is like having the boom mic guys decide who gets an Oscar.

Jesus christ. The internet’s ruining the world.

Don’t tell him Santa isn’t real.

THIS IS A THING?

If you know a better way to shutup a smartass African grey parrot I’d like to hear it...

No.

You idiot.

Now, he’s all but blacklisted from Power Rangers conventions, one of two actors to earn that distinction for their behavior at the events.

Except that neither bullpen was as good as the Yankees bullpen at the start of the year featuring Andrew Miller (high-priced long-term deal), Chapman (trade), and Dellin Betances (home-grown).

Nice.

As a Yankees fan, I’m looking forward to his arm imploding.

This man must be dynamite in bed.

Sure it would.

Fuck. Why didn’t we think of this before...

They’re congratulating him like he just won $10.7 million.