If you give m the $7K, I’ll give you the exclusive interview with me when my 32 plastic surgeries to look exactly like Kylie are complete.

Apparently not the case when it comes to medical junk! It said “elderly primigravida”, which means old lady having her first kid.

I got pregnant (surprise!) at 34 and delivered at 35. My medical paperwork referred to me as an “elderly” mother.

She bugs.

🏆 (ad infinitum)

I think that’s been the case innsome instances where people injected non-medical grade silicone and other random crap (Fix a Flat, for one).

I think Brazilian butt lifts entail sucking fat out of elsewhere and injecting it into your ass.

We will do absolutely nothing to help you, young black people, but please enjoy this dope rap track and vote for me.

Her dining partner is Alexis Ohanian, and yes, he is wearing a hipster scarf.

Somehow, I find her even more insufferable than Swift, who is pretty damn insufferable herself.

This asswipe is my sheriff. Oh and we have Paul fucking Ryan and Scott goddamn Walker, to boot.

One who wants to do this:

Especially since she’s 34, she’s not like some fifteen year old tweeting about their dead grandma with a sad face and praying hands.

I wish the doctor would have inserted the speculum and been like “oops, I just tore your hymen!”.

🏆

Of Rilo Kiley and the Postal Service. But, most importantly, also of Troop Beverly Hills.

Nobody give af about her aside from her association with these men. She’s trying to extend her 15 minute window, but I doubt she’ll be able to.

🏆

I love her so fucking much.

Someone stole my granola bar from work when I was nine months pregnant.