If the ‘90s Law & Order episode that had this as a plot element is to be trusted, they fly privately. Also, they have diamonds smuggled inside them.

Dammit, now I want to get a dog just so I can be hostess to an adorable interspecies love story.

Cat lady here, but here’s my mom’s dog in a fetching chapeau.

Kitteh cuddle puddle! And yes, the cat shaped dent in the cushion is real, and likely permanent.

Earlier I credited the couch’s appearance to the theory that I may have taken this RIGHT after the cleaner had been. But then I realized that the only part of the couch that ever gets super furred up is the back cushion nearest the window, which she sits on most of the time most days. That thing I could build a second…

This description went well past perfect and is veering into poetic.

Except when she’s complaining about the number of times we’ve already watched Marcella, yes.

Oh, thank god I’m not the only one.

The only thing our family dogs ever saved me from was eating too many cinnamon rolls... by having the cat knock them all off the table and gobbling them down themselves.

Eartha wants to do it on the bed and right after I’ve cleaned the duvet cover. I feel like Cat Mommie Dearest sitting up in the middle of the night to yell and shoo her onto the floor while she’s retching.

WOW. Well done cat!

That’s her specialty.

CB2 couch? (I have no idea what the TV is; whatever the cheapest flatscreen Best Buy had a few years ago was).

Particularly given that this one likes to start hacking while she’s ON the bed, usually right after I’ve washed the duvet cover.

Please don’t literally eat my cat. Figuratively is encouraged.

Oh, Magic is giving SUCH good face!

HOW? HOW can you sleep through that noise? I have woken up to the sounds of cats vomiting at the opposite ends of ranch style houses.

Ha, I’d have to guess that this was taken shortly after the cleaning lady came. And please never look at the sides of the couch, which do double purpose as a scratching post. And also never look at any of my dark clothes.

Eartha Kitteh once saved my life! One of the pilot lights on the stove had gone out, and she woke me up by vomiting as the apartment filled with gas. We would both be 100% dead if it wasn’t for the fact that you can NEVER sleep through the sound of a cat vomiting.

I would have shared the nice man’s Crunch box and then we’d have a FUCKING ADORABLE story to tell about how we met when we inevitably fell in love and got married.