What makes you think that?

and that the embryos were fertilized by the sperm from “an ex-boyfriend” or “close family friend.”

YES. When I was 18, my dad and I were on a train from Munich to Hamburg, and we met an exceedingly drunk German bowling team* who refused to believe that I was his daughter and not his teenaged girlfriend.

Exactly. And make sure never to buy Trident. That paper wrapper is no help when Tom Cruise comes around.

For that, you have to wrap the couch in foil. Then Tom Cruise can’t sense its presence, and will not jump on it.

It blocks Tom Cruise from tracking him.

I could go into the alley right now and find six cats that look more like Christina Ricci than that one does.

Please let one of them own an Afghan hound so the others can refer to it as their opponent’s “terrorist mutt.”

My opinion of A-Rod just improved, and I’m not comfortable with that at all.

The Irish slave trade began when James II sold 30,000 Irish prisoners as slaves to the New World. His Proclamation of 1625 required Irish political prisoners be sent overseas and sold to English settlers in the West Indies. By the mid 1600s, the Irish were the main slaves sold to Antigua and Montserrat. At that time,…

Everyone in my Oscar pool that year was CONVINCED he had it locked down, and I was like “aw, bless. Old white men are not voting for Eddie Murphy.” And I won the Oscar pool.

I totally forgot about that little girl. Yikes.

“It’s true, there is no love stronger than a mother for her son

Laura and Riker are married in real life, and have been FOR EVER.

I stand by my contention (made some months ago on this same site) that he looks like God set out to make a handsome man, and then went off and left him in the sun too long, and he got a bit melty.

This was my question too — the people I’ve known who did time got bologna sandwiches and soup that they made out of mustard packets. There would probably be a much greater recidivism rate if there was cake.

I kept thinking “who is that guy with the teeth who thinks everything is so hilarious?” And then I realized he was sitting next to Jennifer Lawrence, and is probably that director who keeps casting Jennifer Lawrence in every female role.

Can you come and have a chat with this bitch, please, about how she can eat her expensive bloody canned food without getting it up my walls? (seriously, I don’t know how this is a thing that happens, and my cleaning ladies are 100% talking shit about me for it behind my back)

I would probably roll my eyes at Ginnifer Goodwin if I saw her for reasons that have nothing to do with babies or airplanes.

If you ever get the chance to see the NT Live recording of him performing in Everyman last year, do. I never expected a modernization of a medieval morality play I read in college to make me weep like that.