I would watch a movie with this plot. Not in theatres or anything, but on a plane.

WE DO JUST FINE, DAMMIT.

Justin Bieber Reflects on his Monkey

SAUVAGE. I have a personal theory that the JD Sauvage commercial and Matthew McConaghey’s Lincoln commercials are secretly confessions about killing hookers and burying them in the desert.

Speaking only for myself: Everything Johnny Depp has done since about the year 2000 has creeped me out. This includes all of his movies, fashion choices, grooming habits, and relationships.

No; they will interfere with the connectivity.

This is true: I had an Alice in Wonderland themed birthday circa 1986ish where we all decorated straw hats for ourselves and our dolls, and we did, in fact, hang them on the walls afterwards. I had forgotten.

• “Hang your collection of straw hats in your hall instead of smart wallpaper.”

A fellow debater who often traveled to debates with Cruz described him, witheringly, as “an extreme fan of the Les Misérables soundtrack.”

Darth Vader for Super; Tweety Bird for Light.

I think Vinnie’s is a popular option? http://www.tamponcase.com/

Honestly, I’d kind of be down for this. (Not for on-the-go use, obviously, but how fun to have like a giant Darth Vader Pez in the corner of your bathroom, and when you lift his helmet, you get tampons).

I’m sure, I just wondered if it was her idea to do it or if Delta (because they’re an Atlanta company and so is Chick fil A) made a practice of saying “if you ask the person to move, please give them this as a thank you.”

• Asking a person to trade seats with you so that you can sit with a partner is only okay if you’re offering up a better seat. Never expect anyone to trade their window or aisle seat for a middle.

I think there was an FMK feature about him, Bush, and one other early announcing GOP candidate (Cruz?). And I stand by what I said then: Rand for F, because that curly hair of his is crying out to be grabbed in the throes of passion.

But possibly not the fingers that have been up Kanye’s bum.

This is going to be my new fighting tactic. “Fuck you! I like your pants!”

That’s the point at which I started crying, actually — seeing the dioceses (?) I grew up going to, both on the second screen of tiny script, and then it kept going.

There are definitely some on the highway between DC and Richmond (although if I’m driving that way, I might as well just go to Steak ‘n’ Shake). But I don’t know if they’d be thrilled to give a free clown cone to a middle aged lady even if they still make them.